Management mythos: Should you give your children Lakshmi, Durga or Saraswati
I am CEO of a conglomerate that my family has owned over the last century. I have two sons, both of whom are starting out in business. As a father, I know both are capable but I also understand the younger son is a smart alec. I am in a quandary whether to spend the next 10 years to make them work together until they come to a point where they might think differently but still have a good working relation between them, or carve out two separate businesses starting now. I have seen too many Mahabharatas in Indian business houses to let the issue remain unresolved and repent later. The father in me wants to hold the family together while the CEO in me says it's better to create two businesses. What should I do?
It depends on the maturity of your sons. By maturity, I do not mean how much business sense they have but how inclusive are they to help the other grow. Sadly, this trait is in short supply the world over.
It is interesting that Ramayana and Mahabharata are epics replete with instances of brothers fighting over property— Sugriva and Vali, Ravan and Kuber, Kauravas and Pandavas. In fact, the Mahabharata begins with the story of Garuda's enmity with his brothers, the Nagas, serpents, which stems from the competitive spirit of their respective mothers, Vinata of the birds and Kadru of the snakes.
As Garuda seeks liberation from the enslavement imposed on him and his mother by the snakes, he is asked by his father to eat a tortoise and an elephant who constantly quarrel. In their previous lives, we are told the animals were brothers. One of the brothers sought division of property and this angered the other sibling. So they cursed each other to turn into animals. By asking Garuda to eat the tortoise and the elephant, the father hopes that his son will consume anger and greed, the two most common emotions seen when brothers fight. One brother is greedy and the other is angry. Maturity takes root when one emotion is missing, when one brother allows the other to be greedy or angry. It is perhaps best to clarify to the two sons which portions of the business each one will inherit. Perhaps it is a good idea to even give them a share in the other's business so that both mutually benefit. But that is not the solution.
The business that is bigger or does better or has greater potential, will be valued more than the other business (no way there can be an equal division) and each son is likely to feel that the other has got the better share. So the resentment against the brother and the father will intensify despite the best of efforts.
Family feuds are not about property. They are about identity. Each son wants to know, despite shared genes and upbringing, who gets the most favored treatment by the parent. They become rivals for the common prize. And there is no fair way to solve this problem. The elder may feel the younger gets more attention as a child. The younger may feel the elder has more inheritance rights as an adult. They will compete as to who gets the better wife, the more beautiful child, the more attention. For, in the absence of a clear identity, we value ourselves on the basis of what we have, rather than who we are. As long as we value ourselves for what we have, rather than who we are, there will be fights.
As a father, you have to ask yourself. What do you really want to give your children? Lakshmi (wealth), Durga (strength) or Saraswati (wisdom). Of these, the only objectively quantifiable inheritance is Lakshmi. Given alone, she will wreak havoc. We all want our children to be like Ram and Bharat but that demands asking oneself where from comes the desire to compete. Brothers will not stop competing simply because you tell them to; they will do it only when they overcome their inner sense of inadequacy and bring forth their inner spirit of generosity.
Source : DEVDUTT PATTANAIK
You have to ask yourself. What do you really want to give your children? Lakshmi (wealth), Durga (strength) or Saraswati (wisdom).
I am CEO of a conglomerate that my family has owned over the last century. I have two sons, both of whom are starting out in business. As a father, I know both are capable but I also understand the younger son is a smart alec. I am in a quandary whether to spend the next 10 years to make them work together until they come to a point where they might think differently but still have a good working relation between them, or carve out two separate businesses starting now. I have seen too many Mahabharatas in Indian business houses to let the issue remain unresolved and repent later. The father in me wants to hold the family together while the CEO in me says it's better to create two businesses. What should I do?
It depends on the maturity of your sons. By maturity, I do not mean how much business sense they have but how inclusive are they to help the other grow. Sadly, this trait is in short supply the world over.
It is interesting that Ramayana and Mahabharata are epics replete with instances of brothers fighting over property— Sugriva and Vali, Ravan and Kuber, Kauravas and Pandavas. In fact, the Mahabharata begins with the story of Garuda's enmity with his brothers, the Nagas, serpents, which stems from the competitive spirit of their respective mothers, Vinata of the birds and Kadru of the snakes.
As Garuda seeks liberation from the enslavement imposed on him and his mother by the snakes, he is asked by his father to eat a tortoise and an elephant who constantly quarrel. In their previous lives, we are told the animals were brothers. One of the brothers sought division of property and this angered the other sibling. So they cursed each other to turn into animals. By asking Garuda to eat the tortoise and the elephant, the father hopes that his son will consume anger and greed, the two most common emotions seen when brothers fight. One brother is greedy and the other is angry. Maturity takes root when one emotion is missing, when one brother allows the other to be greedy or angry. It is perhaps best to clarify to the two sons which portions of the business each one will inherit. Perhaps it is a good idea to even give them a share in the other's business so that both mutually benefit. But that is not the solution.
The business that is bigger or does better or has greater potential, will be valued more than the other business (no way there can be an equal division) and each son is likely to feel that the other has got the better share. So the resentment against the brother and the father will intensify despite the best of efforts.
Family feuds are not about property. They are about identity. Each son wants to know, despite shared genes and upbringing, who gets the most favored treatment by the parent. They become rivals for the common prize. And there is no fair way to solve this problem. The elder may feel the younger gets more attention as a child. The younger may feel the elder has more inheritance rights as an adult. They will compete as to who gets the better wife, the more beautiful child, the more attention. For, in the absence of a clear identity, we value ourselves on the basis of what we have, rather than who we are. As long as we value ourselves for what we have, rather than who we are, there will be fights.
As a father, you have to ask yourself. What do you really want to give your children? Lakshmi (wealth), Durga (strength) or Saraswati (wisdom). Of these, the only objectively quantifiable inheritance is Lakshmi. Given alone, she will wreak havoc. We all want our children to be like Ram and Bharat but that demands asking oneself where from comes the desire to compete. Brothers will not stop competing simply because you tell them to; they will do it only when they overcome their inner sense of inadequacy and bring forth their inner spirit of generosity.
Source : DEVDUTT PATTANAIK
